The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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