He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
