Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
