Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
