Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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