I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
