Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
