D3 body, D1 cock
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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