Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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