drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize