I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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