I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
