FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
