I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I can text with my tongue
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
