you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
