oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I fill condoms, not promises.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
