just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
