I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
