I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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