Define "chronic" masturbator.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
