I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
