Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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