I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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