i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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