I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
