im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
