yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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