You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
