Only a mothe r could love this liver
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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