so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
