I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
