Whod you bang
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
