yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
