I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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