If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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