I hate your face
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
