So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
