here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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