i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Did I show you my penis last night?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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