Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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