My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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