hell yes lets make some ravioli
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
So many bounce houses so little time
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
we're so committed to being not committed
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
