the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
