please come you make the beer taste better
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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