He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
