I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
