I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
