I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
