ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I don't deserve a penis
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
