No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
